Live Humor

Jokes made in real life, not in fiction (books, TV shows, etc.).

If I must be ruled by larcenous bullies, I much prefer that they be located far away. Local bullies know far more about me and my doings than faraway bullies sitting in offices in Washington, and can oppress me far more effectively.

Isaac Asimov, quoted by Henry Spencer, in a message on rec.arts.comics.strips

Clemenceau expressed his contempt for the entire United States as a country that was unique in having passed directly from barbarism to decadence without an intervening period of civilization.

My 11th grade history textbook on Clemenceau, the French premier after WWI, The American Promise, page 565

This package contains cryptographic software (caesar and rot13).

bsd-games README (under Gentoo)

Yes - 26 keys and one key, respectively. Talk about high-security cryptosystems! Actually, I rather suspect that this was intended to poke fun at U.S. cryptographic materials export restrictions, in which case it doesn't really belong on this page...

The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

Carl Sagan, originally via Slashdot, "verified" (as "unsourced"...) via WikiQuote

The terms cutting-edge and accounting do not sound good together.

Revenge of the Nerds by Paul Graham

The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent

John Maynard Keynes, originally from a comment to Iron Laws Of The Universe, "verified" via WikiQuote

Alex·Dehnert