Funny Quotes

The extent and density of this stream would be useful knowledge, Aivas went on. Jancis, such readings can be taken from the navigator's console by activating the exterior optics, using the exam.exe code.

All the Weyrs of Pern, by Anne McCaffrey (page 249)

Wow, even in 2500 or so, when the colony ships left, they were still using file extensions and probably Windows? Impressive...

KORELL-- ... And so after three years of a war which was certainly the most unfought war on record, the Republic of Korell surrendered unconditionally, and Hober Mallow...

Description of the war between the Foundation (led by Hober Mallow) and the Republic of Korell, in which the Foundation stopped exporting luxuries and tools to Korell, and didn't attack. The tools and luxuries stopped working, and discontent on Korell rapidly rose. Korell eventually surrendered to regain the luxuries and tools.

116th edition, ENCYCLOPEDIA GALACTICA

Foundation, pg 227

I didn't have any warning at all.

Yeah, you have to admire their sense of tradition, don't you?

Admiral Seaton and Dr. Ron Jones, on the outbreak of war between Japan and America

Debt of Honor, pg 356

You know the craziest thing I ever heard as a sonar man?

What's that?

Elvis

Ron Jones, a former sonar man, and Tom Donner, a NBC reporter

Executive Orders, pg 446

That still only counts as one!

Gimli to Legolas, after Legolas brings down a giant war elephant

Return of the King

It's okay. I'm sure they'll listen to Reason

Hiro Protagonist to Y.T., referring to a hypervelocity machine gun

Snow Crash, pg 388

No one, of course, is more familiar with staggering natural disasters than the Nipponese, with the possible exception of some peoples who are now extinct and therefore unable to bid on jobs like this. They also know a thing or two about having the shit bombed out of them, as do the Germans.

Randy's thoughts on a nuke/quake/volcano/etc. proof information ministry being designed by the Germans and built by the Japanese

Cryptonomicon, pg 214

Aly yawned. ... You might want to keep a constant watch on them, too. After all, they might find the weapons hidden in the storerooms under the stable.

Lokeij cursed eloquently. You can't know about them! I've got the stables watched all the time!

I didn't know until now, Aly replied easily, enjoying the joke she had just played on the old man. She ignored Lokeij's muttered curse, though she stored it in her memory as a useful one to know. It's a central location, after all, and the raka linger there all the time.

Aly to Lokeij, who is conspiring in a rebellion, discussing how they should keep some visiting nobles from finding out about the conspirators' plan

Trickster's Choice, pg 183

He huffed and he puffed and he... signed an eviction notice.

One of the three little pigs to Shrek, explaining how he had been thrown out of his house and moved to Shrek's land

Shrek

Charity is a cardinal virtue, Sparhawk. I like to encourage it wherever I can

Church knight Kalten to Sparhawk, after requesting food from the abbot at a monastery

The Ruby Knight, by David Eddings (page

Miles thinks he's a knight errant. A rational government wouldn't allow him possession of a pocketknife, let alone a space fleet.

Countess Vorkosigan to Mark, on Miles as a role model

Mirror Dance from the Vorkosigan books, by Lois McMaster Bujold (page 216)

All ships resume original heading, Gene Usher's voice said pleasantly. Thank you for your excellent response time, but this concludes our unscheduled exercise.

Gene Usher to the ships that he was unhappily, and not officially, escorting, after several minutes of random manuevers and shooting

Honor Among Enemies, by David Weber (page 460)

And then the spell was broken as Shannon Foraker looked up from the console from which she had just sent a perfectly inncent-seeming computer code over the tactical net to one of the countless ops plans she'd downloaded to the units of Twelfth Fleet over the last thirty-two T-months.

Oops, she said.

The events on Admiral Tourville's flag bridge after Havenite state security ships had tried to arrest him to take him back to Haven to stand trial.

Ashes of Victory, by David Weber (page 555)

True to the 'if it works, it's obsolete' philosophy Terran engineers had espoused for centuries, they were already promising a more capable and flexible version

The Shiva Option, by David Weber (page 582)

Often they actually seemed to resent having the path of maximum efficiency pointed out to them as succinctly as possible. He wondered why.

The Shiva Option, by David Weber (page 601)

All my louing
Here comes the son
Magical to ur
No rgegian wood
Now here man
Piease piease
Revolutidh

***
Sgt, deprer's lonecy
With a lift le heip
***

From the back of a Chinese version of a Beatles album