Alex's quotes and humor page
Quotes and humor that I have found, primarily in books, which I thought to be interesting, screwed up, funny, or I just wanted to remember.
Funny Quotes
- TV & Film
- Discworld, and others by Terry Pratchett
- Catch-22 quotes
- Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and sequels
- Live humor
- Accidental humor
- Robotics
- Computer and Tech
Serious quotes
Other Sites'
- Robert's Jokes page
- Boogle - Google with a quote
- Humorous Sites
- Pigeons' Bandwidth Advantage Quantified [Local Mirror] - a very humorous /. (Slashdot) story (this was posted on April 1st in Israel, to which it refers)
- The Complete Military History of France [Local Mirror]
- -2000 Lines of Code, on the utility of lines of code as a metric for productivity
My Favorites
"I thought you didn't believe in God."
"I don't. But the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be."
--Yossarian and Lieutenant Scheisskopf's wife on God
--Catch-22, page 190
"This is like being an arctic explorer who has just stumbled upon aliens, you're like, what the hell, lets go get some more harddrives."
--Aaron, on discovering Priory financial data on one of the robotics team's new computers
"Vimes, you have gone insane. You can't arrest the commander of an army."
"Actually, Mr. Vimes, I think we could. And the army, too. I mean, I don't see why we can't. We could charge them with behavior likely to cause a breach of the peace, sir. I mean, that's what warfare is."
--Lord Rust and Carrot, on whether or not Vimes can arrest the Klatchian and Ankh-Morporkian armies
--Jingo, pg. 387
"I didn't have any warning at all."
"Yeah, you have to admire their sense of tradition, don't you?"
--Admiral Seaton and Dr. Ron Jones, on the outbreak of war between Japan and America
--Debt of Honor, pg. 356
More quotes and jokes are always welcome. EMail me some if you have any good ones
Page last validated with (local, non-mirrored) subsections on 2004-11-26.